Author Archives: alianna1@gmail.com

Those “Tower” Moments

Those Tower Moments: When Life Comes Apart (Again and Again)

Well, darling.

If you were with me over two years ago (September 16, 2014 – so make that two years and three months ago, see When Life Comes Apart), I was writing about a Tower time. My life had certainly come apart.

Those Tower moments – when life comes apart completely!

And I thought that the shake-up was done.

How wrong I was!

When we have a Tower moment in our lives – when everything comes apart – it’s like having an earthquake. And as with any good earthquake, there are aftershocks.

My “aftershocks” continued for another two years.

A total (over three years) of five different jobs, in four locations. Three moves, and two different states. And somewhere in there, I’m sure, there was a partridge in a pear-tree.

All of this makes me an expert (at least in my own mind) on Tower moments in our lives. And also, by no means, unique. Many, MANY of us are having Tower-moments. For some, it may seem like an unending series of Tower-times, like living on an earthquake fault.

So how to deal?

Recap: Getting the Big Picture

Let’s pull back just a bit.

If you’ll recall, I’ve been writing – for several years now – about how the Major Arcana from the Tarot show up in our lives. The underlying theme here is that we can use these Major Arcana, not so much for divination (fortune-telling), but in terms of high-level life-guidance.

In fact, I’ve got a very strong sense that these Major Arcana were put down in pictorial form so that master teachers had something like a MS Powerpoint (TM) slidedeck; something that they could take with them on journeys, and that they could use as reference points in talking with each other and with their students. Let’s keep in mind also that the first appearances of the Major Arcana (as part of the overall Tarot cards) was in the late 1400’s, and was more-or-less coincident with various Inquisitions. Let’s keep in mind also that there is a strong connection between the organization of the Major Arcana and various aspects of the Jewish Kaballah, and that the Inquisition particularly targeted the Jewish people. Major Jewish centers of learning were hugely disrupted during the resulting combination of expulsion (of those who were still openly Jewish) and imprisonment, torture, and death (to those who had converted, but were then subject to a later round of persecution). (See The Inquisition (from a Jewish historical perspective for a brush-up on the history.)

Without trying to push things too far (as I’m not a historian, nor a scholar of the Kabbalah), it is real interesting that around this timeframe, many Jewish mystical scholars were writing down materials that had hitherto been transmitted only in oral form, across many centuries. (See Index of Sages for a sense of who did what, when.)

Where the Tower Fits into the Big Picture

Thus, back to the main point.

The Major Arcana, organized into three sets of seven each. The “Fool,” or the zeroth Arcana, precedes this set.

The Tower is an archetype in the Major Arcana. There are many teachers who suggest that the Major Arcana can be viewed as a set of three sets of seven Arcana each, with the “Zeroth” Arcana (The Fool) preceding all of them.

If we look at the Major Arcana this way, we see that the Tower (Major Arcana XVI) is second from the beginning of the last set of seven. The Major Arcana immediately preceding it is the Devil (XV) and the one immediately after is the Star (XVII).

Of the two cards that people hate to see show up in readings, probably the Tower and the Devil are at the top of the list – even more than Death (XIII). However, we often feel a sense of peace when we see the Star show up.

The challenge for us is that these are all related.

Things Come in Threes

We can make sense of these Major Arcana the most when we view them in the context of our overall life-journey, and not just in isolation. Thus, if we’re having a Tower time, what immediately preceded it – and often, that which was a set-up for the Tower – was a time dominated by the Devil Major Arcana. And what comes after it is that peaceful sense that we get with the Star.

This blog has been long enough already, so I’m going to defer a detailed discussion (or many detailed discussions) for further blog posts. The important point, for now, is that when we see the Devil Major Arcana show up, whether in a reading or in our lives, it doesn’t necessarily mean a for-real devil, as in a satanic personage. Notice, in that card, that the Devil figure is much larger than the persons bound at its feet.

The Devil is, most often, a blown-up, larger-than-life, distorted fun-house projection of our own inner beliefs and mental constructs.

When a Tower moment happens, or even a series of Tower moments, we often start getting clarity on what was going on that the Tower is now shaking apart. Usually, there was something that was just not-quite-right. It could have been a corporation built upon a flawed business plan, or with leadership that was making poor decisions. It could be a marriage that had seriously bad dynamics. It could be a belief that life would continue as it has been, in the face of mounting evidence that things are adapting and that we all need to change – to learn new skills, or take some other action to keep pace with unfolding events.

Because we all like to keep our status quo going as long as we can, it takes a Tower to shake us up. Sometimes, a succession of Tower moments. That’s absolutely what happened to me.

The thing is – once we’ve had our Tower time, we begin to see much more clearly.

The Star (Major Arcana XVII) is a time when we get clarity and a new energy flow.

The ground under us settles; the dust clears. We might be completely naked (as is the woman in the Star Major Arcana).

We might be in a situation where we have not only lost the (admittedly illusory) protection of the Tower walls, but have even lost the shirt off our backs. Totally exposed and vulnerable.

However, in this new moment, we get new juice. Things start to flow for us. In the case of the woman in the Star Arcana, we see that she is pouring from two pitchers; one onto the earth, the other back into the stream. She is kneeling, with one foot planted in the stream of water. She’s accessing flow.

Far different from the Devil and the Tower, right? And a big step in personal freedom.

More to follow …

Until next time –

with love and laughter – Alay’nya

When Life Comes Apart (and How to Put It Together Again)

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Recovery from a Major Life Upheaval

We all have those moments – hopefully not too often (or we simply wouldn’t survive) – when everything, absolutely everything, comes apart all at once.

Moving-out – very suddenly!

Our well-ordered and carefully-structured lives take a major tumble.

This is what happened to me, six months ago precisely.

The landlord let us know that he wasn’t renewing the lease. He wanted to sell the property, and tenants were just not a part of his game plan.

We had thirty days to get out.

Thirty days – in which to disassemble a household that had been built up for over ten years.

Almost everyone who had lived there, over the previous ten years, had left something behind. Sometimes large somethings, sometimes small.

The situation was – every nook and corner and cranny was filled with someone’s stuff.

Be Careful What You Ask For

For months prior to the great lease-termination-notice, my prayer to the Universe had been that I wanted to get lighter, tighter, and brighter.

I was really sincere about this prayer.

It became the underlying chord and theme for my life.

I had no idea, though, that the answer would involve such a sweeping, overwhelming, and life-altering change.

Getting Into Agreement

The first thing that I had to do – and I would recommend this to ANYONE who finds themselves suddenly in the maelstrom of an overwhelming life-change – was to get into alignment with it.

I had to let go of any resistance, any sense of fighting against this.

Some friends – sincere and helpful friends – wanted me to find legal recourses to delay the inevitable move. I knew in my gut that putting effort into this kind of resistance would be totally out of alignment with what the Universe was offering me.

Instead, I got into agreement with this, real fast.

I said in my heart, Yes, this is painful. Yes, this is disruptive. Yes, this is scary, and most of all – just massively uncomfortable.

But this is what I’ve called into my life, this is the answer to my prayers, and I’ll receive help and guidance – at all levels – and I’ll get through.

And I DID receive help. HUGE help.

I’ve joked with friends many times since that members of the Angelic Team for Helping-People-with-Major-Life-Transitions deserved outstanding commendation letters in their personnel jackets, and maybe some serious time off. They certainly worked hard enough!

If I’d been in resistance – if I’d put my energy into wailing and whining, and saying how unfair all of this was – I wouldn’t have been open to the help that I received.

Instead, I began to see, recognize, and give thanks for the daily miracles.

These acts of help – many acts of spontaneous support and kindness, and many acts that were way beyond simple serendipity – were my new manna-from-heaven.

Every single day, whatever I needed for that day was brought to me. Boxes and packing materials. Help with packing. A meal. Someone stopping by to purchase something – occasionally out of the blue.

Every single day, I received the blessing that I needed for that day.

It was a magical and blessed (and of course totally exhausting) time.

Giving It Up – More than I Ever Imagined

On the road; me and five cats going west.

But clearing out ten years (or more) of accumulated stuff was not easy.

I gave away over 250 books, keeping only those that were part of my scientific, creative, and inspirational life – and just a few “recreational reads.”

I sold, gave away, or left behind for others about 80% of my worldly goods.

Clothes, most personal items, scientific and technical and creative books and tools – they all came.

Everyday household items and tools – anything that could be purchased at a hardware store, department store, or major lifestyle items store – they were all released to the universe.

Every several days, we took a truckload to the dump. Every single day, we took an overflowing car or van to the local thrift store.

I held a garage sale, and sold belly dance costumes, resources, and plants.

Every person who was living with me found a soft landing – a new place, just as good (and perhaps even better for them) than what they’d had in my Household.

Every plant found a home. Amazing how readily people scooped up large, healthy plants!

No one wanted a cat. I tried hard to find homes for at least two. No takers.

Thirty days after I’d received notice, I was in a 16′ Budget truck, five cats in their respective cat carriers beside me in the front seat, on a highway going west.

Several hundred miles later, I pulled into my sister’s driveway, where she graciously welcomed me (and the five cats – sign of a true cat-lover) to stay with her until I could get a restart on life.

A Real Tower Moment

Yup, taking apart a living situation that had endured for a decade was a real Tower-moment.

The Tower (from the Major Arcana) symbolizes a time when our well-ordered lives come tumbling down.

It was total life-disruption.

Everything that I had – infrastructure, various jobs-while-writing, my total local support system – came tumbling down.

And – as is typical after a major Tower time – I was exhausted afterwards.

It’s taken me six months to rebuild the strength for connecting back with you.

There are some things to share, though. Really important stuff – because we all have these Tower moments in our lives.

They happen again and again. Big ones, small ones – they happen to us and the people in our lives.

And with the pace of life speeding up (yes, it is), they’re happening more and more often.

So the big question is, how do we deal?

Maybe even bigger: How do we recognize when such a moment is coming? How do we prepare?

And also, how do we recover/regroup/rebuild after?

How I Got My Mojo Back

In a word – exercise.

Daily walks, starting with a mile, going up to three, settling back to two. (Writer and creativity-teacher Julia Cameron calls this a daily Artist’s Walk.)

Daily walks coupled with yoga, then adding in resistance and core.

Then – and I’m not necessarily recommending this, just telling how what I did – adding in a spurt of sword-training and karate moves.

Yup, you heard me.

I’ve been a belly dancer for the past 30-odd years. I migrated to Oriental dance from the martial arts, where I’d begun with hard-style Shotokan karate, gone through softer forms, and finally ended up (I thought for good) in dance.

Dance is good for total body integration.

In fact, dance is good for a woman’s total emotional, energetic, and body integration. (That’s part of why I wrote Unveiling: The Inner Journey; to share that message.)

Heian Shodan – the first beginner’s kata from the Shotokan karate tradition.

But there I was, two weeks ago, out in the back yard doing Heian Shodan – the first beginner’s kata (choreographed movement series) from Shotokan karate.

Integration is good.

But recently, I’ve needed focus.

After a life-explosion, I’ve needed to be more yang than yin, and karate is one of those things that is helping me get there.

Evidence that this is working?

Well, I’m writing to you.

For the first time, in over six months.

Just to say hello, and to give you an update.

And to let you know that the next several blogs will have insights, ideas, and practices that will help you (or your loved ones), when these inevitable Tower moments happen.

Until our next time –

With love and laughter – Alay’nya

7 Things Your Inner Hestia Wants to Do before Spring Arrives

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Hestia, Your Inner Goddess of Hearth and Home, REALLY Wants to Get Some Spring-Cleaning Done

In this first week of March, 2014, we’re in a funny little transition zone.

The cats are restless. They’re running around the house, chasing each other and getting into mischief. They want to go out.

Heavens, I want to go out.

But we’ve got a thick layer of new snow, which rests on a thick layer of ice.

Actually, layers of snow and ice intermingled, treacherous footing underneath.

This weekend, it will be warm. (That is, finally hitting the seasonal averages, which have seemed so far out of reach all winter.)

This weekend, we’re all going to get out.

Last Sunday, people were flooding into the grocery stores, looking (once again) for the Oh-my-God-we’re-going-to-be-snowed-in-supplies.

This Sunday, people will be looking for pansies.

Our Inner Hestia Gets Us Ready for the Magic of Spring

Vanessa Redgrave as Queen Guinevere in the original movie version of Camelot.

Spring is really all about sex.

You remember that song from the (first) movie, The Merry Month of May, from Camelot (both the original musical and 1967 movie).

It’s not just humans who are into that “lusty month,” and it’s not just robins and squirrels. Nature is having herself an orgiastic splendor. That’s what flowers are all about.

{To be continued – in March, 2017. The original blog post was interrupted by the Tower moments that you’ve seen in the blogs that have come shortly after this one. Blog updates began – most recently – with Those Tower Moments, and will continue (unless there is a new Tower-moment – on at least a monthly basis going forward. Xoxo – A.}

Three Essential Rules to Getting the Most from Your Archetypes

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Archetype Management Isn’t Easy – Three Rules to Getting the Most from Your Archetypal Team

Leadership is our biggest challenge ever – and leading our inner archetypal team is as challenging as leading other people!

Who says leadership is easy?

Whether you’re Chairman of the Board, or managing a group of pre-schoolers, we all know that getting people (even toddlers) to cooperate on a single mission or goal is a hugely difficult challenge.

In the company that I co-founded prior to my current one, my job was to be the Chief Scientist – the resident genius.

Being a genius was the easy job. The CEO’s job was much tougher!

The CEO had the hard job; he was managing much more complexity – different people, different groups of people, and each had their own sense of what was most important. He had to work with each person (or group) differently to get them to really come on board with his view for what we should all be doing next.

But just like learning to be a good CEO – or good Chairman of the Board – is a learned skill, learning to manage our inner archetypes is also something that we learn.

Three essential rules help us manage our inner archetypes for not just greatest effectiveness, but greatest inner calm and serenity as we create what we desire in life.

Rule #1: Keep It Simple

The pure sheer force of our inner archetypes is not some abstract, fuzzy-wuzzy concept. Instead, each powerful archetype pushes and pulls us towards circumstances in our lives.

Our inner archetypes have strong desires and tendencies; these lead to immersing ourselves in activities and committing to relationships and obligations.

Case in point.

My young colleague is brilliant. Truly a creative genius. She also has the drive, the passion, to make her visionary creations become real.

The result? Her inner Magician is one of her most dominant archetypes.

Because of her strong inner Magician, she’s in graduate school – and of course, in a very challenging major.

She pushes herself harder than her course-of-study demands. She takes courses that are not absolutely necessary to get her degree, because she sees that what she’ll learn is essential for what she’s creating. She does research, she builds systems that will let her experiment with her novel ideas.

All of this would be just fine – but …

She’s also a mother. Let me make that Mother, capital M. She wanted to be a mom. She fought hard to be a mom. And it didn’t come easy; numerous heartaches and personal sacrifices just to get her child.

So of course, her child takes time. Mental, emotional, and physical time and energy. And she gives this very gladly. This is her Empress/Isis archetype, with a very strong lead.

So now she’s got two of the strongest archetypes going full-tilt, and their demands are non-negotiable.

Even this could be handled. But … (you knew this was coming, right?)

Her income is essential to the family’s well-being. She is forced – more by life-circumstance than by personal desire right now – to spend a lot of time in a job. When you get right down to it, non-negotiable. This means that she spends a lot of time also being an Emperor; a major bread-winner for her family.

Three core power archetypes. Each of them needs – no, demands – a whole lotta time.

How do we deal, when we are in this (not uncommon) situation?

Ruthlessly prioritize how we use our time. Everything that is not essential to our archetype-needs must go towards rest and replenishment for ourselves.

Illustrative example (my colleague’s case):

Taking the child on a Disney vacation during school break. Good call. Doesn’t matter that my colleague had papers to write, experiments to run, and was just simply dragging-her-heels tired. Doesn’t matter that the vacation was damn expensive; meant ratcheting up a credit card. It created good memories. Fun family times. A much-needed break from routine and from consistently putting energy on papers, experiments, etc. Good use of time, money, and energy.

The money and time involved can be recouped.

The pictures that she, her husband, and her child took – irreplaceable. And there will never be this moment with that child again.

Now a not-so-good use of time? A family reunion when there’s emotional tension, demands, dynamics. When said young colleague feels drained after every interaction. She leaves this so-called “vacation” far more depleted than when she began.

See the difference?

When it comes to supporting our archetypes, we can recoup losses of money and time. If we have to borrow to start a business, go to school, whatever – we’ll recover.

It’s a lot harder to recoup from emotional bleed-outs; from situations that get inside our defenses with criticisms and nagging. From people who drain our psychic energy, for whatever rationale or reason.

The lesson from Rule #1: If we’re managing a tough archetypal challenge (three, or even two) dominant and demanding inner archetypes, and if we’ve committed to their aspirations and goals – everything that does not support these commitments must go.

This does not mean that we don’t take time for prayer and pleasure (High Priestess and Hathor). What it does mean is that we don’t let commitments to others sap our reserves; our reserves are necessary to keep ourselves going.

Ask yourself – how do I feel? – after each of these extra commitments or interactions. If we’re short on sleep, but bubbly, then yes – go for it. If we’re drained to the core, then – look more closely. A whole lot more closely.

Rule #2: Deliberately Involve Your Supporting Archetypes to Help with the Major Ones

Suppose that you’re managing a team that has some real hot-shot players. Something like a football team with a fabulous quarterback, or a basketball team with Michael Jordan. (At this point my sports-analogy-abilities run out. But you get the idea.)

The smart coach will make the big plays off the star players, right?

And he (or she) will train the team so that the other football players clear the field for the quarterback. Or they set up the throw for the basketball super-star.

This is a lot like taking the family on a Disney vacation. (See above.)

A lot like; a little different.

If we’ve got one, two, or three major archetypal commitments, then the rest of the archetypes must go into support mode.

Not everyone can be the quarterback.

Not everyone can call the shots.

Rule #3: Use Desire More than Drive in Mobilizing towards What You Want

I tend to write either in the middle of the night, or in the earliest hours of the morning.

This morning (really, closer to midnight), I woke up, and thought about writing to you. The injunction that all blog-writers have in their minds came up – how important it was to stay steady and consistent. I felt motivated, but it wasn’t really enough to get me out of bed.

Then I thought about how much I really wanted to connect with you. Some of you, I know in person, or via email exchanges. But with some of you (brave soul that you are), we’ve never met. Our relationship is strictly through this blogging channel.

Yet still – just by my showing up to write, and you showing up to read – this is a relationship.

What got me out of bed this morning wasn’t drive, it was desire.

Drive pushes from behind (we all know how good that DOESN’T feel!); desire pulls us forward.

Your Hestia Archetype: The High Value of Puttering

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Hestia, the Goddess-Archetype of Hearth and Home, Keeps Life Glued Together

Puttering about – essential to unlocking our creative gifts, quote from Brenda Ueland.

Puttering is vastly underrated.

I took three days off from my usual schedule this last weekend. On one of these, I got a new project started – with alacrity and focus that surprised even me. The other two days?

Puttering.

After a long, cold winter (which is likely to be longer and colder; the groundhog definitely saw his shadow), we’re having more light.

More light is not only increased energy, its more light on the cobwebs and dusty corners; the piles of paperwork, every little thing that piled up while we were busy getting through the holidays, and then hibernating for the weeks of Solstice and immediately thereafter.

This was our High Priestess time.

Our High Priestess Time Is for Introspection and Inspiration

The High Priestess, by Mari-Na.

In our High Priestess mode (still continuing, especially when we finish shoveling out and just want to take a long hot bath, sit in front of the fire, or curl up with a good book or DVD), the boundaries of our awareness are open, diffuse, and unfocused.

If we can manage not to overindulge in novels, DVDs, and Facebook surfing, then we are open to our inner wisdom and guidance. This is the time when connections happen; ideas and thoughts emerge that can influence us for years ahead.

Several years ago, we had a big winter blizzard, and were snowbound for three days. I used that time to study some notes and pull together some ideas that had been lurking in the corners of my mind. This led to the first patent that I wrote for my newly-formed company; it was a significant and over-arching invention in the new realm of knowledge discovery.

Vacations similarly help us access our inner High Priestess, and medical researchers suggest that vacations help promote creativity. There is even a study supporting a relationship between vacations and marital happiness and reduced depression!

Our Hestia Time Is for Getting Our Lives in Order

Vacations are important. Even snow days (once we’ve gotten home safely, and have done the requisite snow-shoveling) give us a little bubble of time-out-of-time. That’s what our High Priestess moments are all about.

But Lee G., one of my dear friends, once said:

5% of life is the highs. 5% is the lows. The rest is maintenance.

Hestia – Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Our Hestia mode is all about maintenance.

Hestia is not as fun, exciting, or dramatic as our visionary and creative Magician. She doesn’t give us the same surge of taking-over-the-world as does our Emperor. She’s not about the feel-good times of our nurturing Empress or mentoring Hierophant. She’s very far removed from the dopamine-fueled, pleasure-seeking Hathor mode (our inner goddess of love, sensuality, and pleasure in all its forms).

But without our Hestia, life falls apart.

Hestia sews on buttons.

A Woman Sewing, by Henri Martin (French Post-Impressionist Painter, 1860-1943).

Recently, I wanted to get back into sewing.

Sewing is one of my favorite creative activities; I love the interplay of color, weave, sheen, and texture. I delight in the feel of fabrics. I love the technical challenge of making something beautiful and fitted, or something that drapes just so.

Hand-sewing is my own “wax on, wax off.” It’s one of the ways in which I access my inner High Priestess; the gentle rhythm of hand-sewing keeps my hands busy while my mind opens up. It’s one of my chief ways of encouraging creativity.

In short, sewing helps me access my High Priestess, which then helps me (because its creative, yet gives me quiet-time) access my inner Magician.

But sometimes, it’s hard for me to jump right into a creative project.

So this last time, to get my juices flowing, I tackled my mending basket.

Over the course of an afternoon, I replaced elastic, mended tears, and did lots of other little itsy-bitsy sewing chores, getting my hands and mind used to the rhythm once again.

Getting into my Hestia mode helped me access my High Priestess mode (when I actually started a for-real sewing project this last weekend), which was tied into my Magician. (The sewing project involved envisioning what I wanted, matching colors and fabrics, putting together accessories, etc.)

When I access my High Priestess and Magician on right-brain (sensory-rich, hands-on) projects, my mind starts to free up and get new ideas for the more logical, linear, left-brain areas.

Making the Most of Your Hestia Time

Some years ago, one of my dance students – whose day job was working at the Claude Moore Colonial Farm (a living history farm) says that she and the other lead staff figured out how to get the best out of volunteers.

Volunteers were easy to come by. Also, various schools would occasionally have students spend a day at the farm, getting a real-life taste of what it was like to live back in colonial times.

So, willing hands and strong bodies were not the problem.

The problem was getting them on a useful task.

A mending basket is a tool for our Hestia time.

My student and her colleagues found that the ideal solution was to establish project boxes.

Every project box contains a written list of exactly what needs to be done, and all the tools/supplies needed to do the job.

I thought this was an excellent idea, and started using it for my own projects-about-the-house.

For example, my mending basket doesn’t just contain clothes to be mended. Each item is put into a plastic zippered bag, with a note about what has to be done, matching thread, and whatever other small items are needed. If I need to get something special to complete a task – a zipper or even the right color of thread – that goes on a special shopping list, and the zippered bag doesn’t go into the big mending basket until everything is there, ready-to-use.

When I take Hestia time, I don’t have to run around looking for the odds and ends needed to get a job done.

Try this at home, and see if it makes your life easier. (And let me know if it does – use the comments below)

Hestia – When A Woman’s Work is Never Done

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Hestia – This Rest and Recharge Core Archetype Is Not Really Resting!

You’ve probably all read this one. I took this version directly from RNW Forum, and have no idea of who originally wrote it. (But if you know the first source, please let me know; I’ll give them full credit!)

I’M GOING TO BED…..Men vs Women

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed”.

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk, wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store… She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3-in-1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age-fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth, and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said.

She put some water into the dog’s dish, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV’s, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, and straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.”

And he did… without another thought.

Hestia, Goddess of Hearth and Home, Maintains Order, Calm, Continuity

Hestia – Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Our Hestia is not our most emotional of archetypes. She’s not squishy. She’s not all about our Empress’s focus on the oxytocin-rush of cuddling and petting and warm connection. And she’s not about our Hathor’s craving for the good-feelings from the combination of a dopamine-high (pleasure-jolt) enhanced by oxytocin (the feel-good connection hormone).

But without our inner Hestia, our world falls apart.

And really, nothing diminishes a good love-rush like a mountain of minutia.

That’s why our Hestia is vital.

This is part of the reason, I suspect, that women handle being alone much better than men do. We not only have more consistent and more connected social circles (a strong and well-cultivated Empress), we have a strong inner Hestia.

The result?

Our lives – at the minutia level – run much more smoothly.

Which means that the big things have a chance for working out as well.

When we invoke our inner Hestia, we bring a calm and consistent orderliness into our lives.

As Julia Cameron states, in The Artist’s Way, one way to think of God is as Good Orderly Direction.

With our inner Hestia, we get the Good and the Orderly. Then, bringing in the overall life-direction builds on a happy foundation.

Today is February 1st, Candlemas Eve. This is the ancient Pagan Festival of Lights – the true beginning of the new year.

One ancient way to celebrate is to put a lit candle into each street-facing window, and let them burn throughout the night.

Tonight, why not have a simple meditation with a white candle?

Very simple and stripped-down. No fuss, no frills.

We’ll start tomorrow with adding in those things that make our life joyous and delightful.

But underneath it all, as we count our blessings (gratitude is our main spiritual discipline for winter), let’s also be thankful for our inner Hestia. She keeps our lives together, so we can experience delicious fulfillment, pleasure, and joy.

Next week: Why Hestia’s time is perfect just now!

More on Hestia

The Hestia archetype is one of the most popular among women, if my bloghits are any indication.

Why?

Not offering a super-scientific insight here, but my guess is that we’ve got this felt-level sense that Hestia represents something very important to us – that is perhaps not quite valued today the way it was in our parent’s (and earlier) generations.

Yours to decide. But check out these earlier posts:

Has Your High Priestess Been Shortchanged This Year? (How to Fix)

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Your High Priestess and Your Empress Archetypes – Are Both Their Needs Being Met?

Introducing Julie Marie Rahm, certified YUEN Mastery Practitioner and Instructor

Julie Marie Rahm, the Resultant, is a certified YUEN Mastery practitioner and instructor.

This week’s Guest Blog by Julie Marie Rahm, the Resultant, gives us insight on how to regain our center when we’ve over-extended ourselves by nurturing and caring for others.

Julie applies YUEN Mastery, the New Science of Achieving Immediate Results; a blend of insight and logic with a dash of quantum physics. The bottom line – if you’re ready to be free of stress and pain, if you’re ready for self-mastery, if you’re ready to know what’s really going on in the world, then read her articles or schedule a one-on-one results-guaranteed telephone consultation with Julie.

Note from Alay’nya: Curious about the Yuen Method? I was. And I had my own consultation with Julie just yesterday. Learn more about this method in this week’s post from the Alay’nya Studio (look for the link two days from now, Thursday, Jan. 30th), and in next week’s blogpost here in The Unveiling Journey. (I’ll put the link in when I write next week’s post.)

It’s been less than twenty-four hours, and I can already feel the life-changing difference!

Our Inner Empress – Feeling Good through Helping Others Feel Good

We’ve just come out of the Season of the Empress. She was our dominant energy from Samhain (October 31st) to Winter Solstice (December 21st).

Our Empress Archetype Is All About Connecting and Nurturing.

The Empress – Major Arcana Card III – from the Touchstone Tarot by Kat Black.

When in our Empress mode, we’re under the sway of the powerful neurohormone oxytocin.

As beautifully described by Dr. Shelley Taylor in The Tending Instinct, oxytocin makes us seek out and find pleasure in the warmth of human connection.

When we are pregnant and mothers of young children, we are awash in oxytocin, and it governs much of what we do until our children leave home and menopause arrives. (Usually, these two events more-or-less coincide, and check out Dr. Louann Brizendine’s book, The Female Brain.)

Our Empress Archetype Causes Us to Bond with Animals

We get a surge of oxytocin, a feel-good neurohormone, from playing with warm, furry animals. Photo courtesy Sciencephotos.com.

If we are not maternal – by nature or by life-role – we often nurture animals. Nothing like cuddling up with our pet cat, or romping with our dog, to release a good oxytocin surge into our brains – helping us feel calmer, more soothed, and more happy with life. Meg Daley Olmert describes how oxytocin helps the human-animal bond in Made for Each Other: The Biology of the Human-Animal Bond.

Obviously, both men and women access the Empress archetype – think of the many men who are devoted fathers, or whose lives involve caring for people and animals. It’s the same neurohormone that gives all of us satisfaction in the human-human or human-animal bond.

Our Empress Governs the Biggest Feast-Days and Holidays of the Year

In our Empress mode, we get satisfaction from nurturing others – particularly during holiday feasts!

It’s no coincidence that our Empress time encompasses the two biggest feasting, family, human-warmth-and-connection times of the year – Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But what happens when our Empress is overextended?

This can happen so, so easily.

Our Empress is about caring; not about setting boundaries. Thus, when someone needs her, she often responds without saying, No, I need time for myself right now.

Sometimes, there’s a crisis during the holidays and people need more time than expected.

Sometimes, there’s too much travel; too many demands on our time.

Sometimes, people come to visit – and stay longer than expected, or we have the lovely misfortune of living someplace where everyone wants to visit us over the holidays!

At the end of this time – special though it was – we need time for ourselves.

Our Inner High Priestess – Intuitive and Contemplative

The High Priestess, depicted by Mari-Na.

Our inner High Priestess is all about regrouping.

During the darkest time of winter, she’s about staying in bed for an extra hour or so each day.

Instead of focusing on the needs and wants of others, our High Priestess wants to not focus at all.

Our inner High Priestess wants to drift in a quiet, calm, contemplative space – and being forced to focus on anyone, or anything, is painful to this aspect of our psyche.

After being an Empress (sometimes for too long), we need our High Priestess to recharge.

Did you get your High Priestess time this year?

If you’re a little low on your High Priestess, you can still nurture her – and thus nurture your whole self.

Read this Guest Post from Julie Rahm to find out how.

Instant Rejuvenation for Generation Empress – Guest Post from Julie Marie Rahm, aka The Resultant

Forget about being a Baby Boomer. Aren’t we in fact the Sandwich Generation, caught in the middle?

Our adult offspring have boomeranged back home. Also, our aging parents need daily attention. Thus, perhaps an even more fitting title for our generation of women is Generation Empress.

If you are like me, you find yourself for months on end in full-throttle Empress mode, caring for and nurturing family, friends, clients.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my family, friends, and clients. However, spending all of our time in Empress mode causes us to stagnate in body, mind, and spirit. Flow stops and unevenness sets in between others and us. Where there is unevenness, there is struggle. Struggle leads to reactions of anger and frustration.

What’s an Empress to do? Read on.

First, restore flow and thus rejuvenate by investing at least five minutes in contemplative High Priestess mode every day.

How? I recommend awakening five minutes earlier than usual. Sit in bed with the lights out. Imagine your day unfolding perfectly to your design. Most others are still asleep, so you can connect without static to the Universe and the Universe can connect back to you, supporting your design.

Then, strengthen yourself for your day.

How? Imagine a bright point of light moving quickly up and down from the crown of your head through your spine to the bottom of your tailbone. Run the light up and down eight times while saying to yourself “strengthen and delete.” Throughout the day, “run the light” any time you need a boost!

As you incorporate those first five minutes into each day, be willing to be amazed.

Expect to feel stronger and be happier.

My clients from ages eight to eighty agree that “running the light” daily is life changing. May it be for you, too!

Does Your Inner Empress Need to Recharge? (Ask Julie!)

Julie Marie Rahm, M.S., is a Resultant who resolves problems for individuals, families, schools, organizations, and businesses. How? She applies YUEN Mastery, the New Science of Immediate Results; a blend of insight and logic with a dash of quantum physics.

Julie is a certified YUEN Mastery practitioner and instructor. She earned her B.S. in physics and mathematics at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and her M.S. in industrial engineering at Georgia Tech. She worked for the U.S. Navy and Department of Defense for 20 years before applying physics and engineering to the human body and the human condition. Find her online at Problems-Resolved.com.

Healing Our Inner Emperor – What a Breakthrough Feels Like

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A Healing Shift with My Emperor Archetype – from Controlling & Power-Grabbing to Wise & Benevolent

Lioness and lion, by Franco De Luco Calce.

Inner healing brings together our feminine and masculine archetypes. Photo of asiatic lioness and lion in Wild Love II series by Franco De Luca Calce.

Healing is much like integration.

Really, the two go hand-in-hand.

Over the past week, I’ve had a big, huge healing with my inner Emperor – one of the six core power archetypes that we each have.

I didn’t know that I needed this healing.

Also, I didn’t know how deeply this unhealed relationship had impacted my entire life – that it was a huge, pervasive pattern. (The full extent only popped out completely this last week.)

And I can’t say that everything – every aspect – is completely healed. Probably not. Probably more to go; multiple layers.

But this is big.

So huge, that I’m breaking with what I planned to write to you – which dealt with healings and breakthroughs of a different form – to introduce this new one.

Join me?

Before Healing – A Controlling Emperor Archetype

If you know me well (and many of you do), you’ll recognize that my attitude about men has not always been healthy.

Of course, this showed up in both my personal and professional life.

Ghengis Khan.

You may remember that I characterized the Emperor archetype in a not-too-kindly manner – the image that I selected to represent this archetype back less than a year ago was Ghengis Khan.

More to the point, I was wrestling with an oppressive inner Emperor – from Dethroning Your Emperor, written in March, 2013. (Even then, I was starting to shift – from dethroning to a more useful incorporation.)

More recently, I characterized my (and generally, our) inner Emperor as a resource-hog, in Is Your Emperor Ruling Your Life?.

Khan, like many other conquering Emperors, definitely embodied the Emperor archetype – but in a brutal and controlling and punitive sense. (Read a brief synopsis of Khan’s slaughter of the inhabitants of the Persian city Nishapur.) While his virtues of leadership, courage, organization were fabulous – as was his vision, focus, and tenacity – he was not a good or kind person. He’s reputed to have said, “It is not sufficient that I succeed – all others must fail.”

This is the dark side of our Emperor archetype.

After Healing – A Wise and Benevolent Emperor Archetype

The healing itself was preceded by several months of substantial attention to this area – no one big thing, but steadily clearing out the brushes.

I wrote about this in an earlier blog:

When we invoke our Emperor in a benevolent mode, he comes in as a rescuer. He brings not only structure and order, but strength and stability. He may bring some routine in to our lives …

When we do a higher level of life-integration, we call on our Emperor in a more powerful and comprehensive way.

When You’ve Betrayed Yourself and How to Recover, written October, 2013.

The healing itself took place within 24 hours. No one specific person “healed” me; there was no moment of divine intervention, but I knew – when I woke up the next morning – that my relationship with this whole archetype had shifted.

Emperor Kangxi.

As I cast about inside my head for words to describe this new Emperor, the ones that seemed most appropriate were wise and benevolent.

Wise and benevolent, it seems, can be a success strategy. China’s Emperor Aixin-Juelo Xuanye (1654-1722) was known as Emperor Kangxi. His title means peace for all people and prosperity for all lands.

http://www.theunveilingjourney.com/2012/02/05/a-strong-inner-amazon-our-most-powerful-ally/

"Where Are the Initiated Men of Power Today?" – An Answer to Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

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To Find the “Initiated Men of Power” – Seek Out the Martial Arts Masters

Leaders of the men’s movement today are addressing the question brought before them by young men:

“In a Bill Moyers interview with poet Robert Bly … a young man asked the question, ‘Where are the initiated men of power today?’ We have written this book in order to answer this question, which is on the minds of both men and women. In the beginning of the twenty-first century, we face a crisis in the masculine identity of vast proportions. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary scene – sociologists, anthropologists, and depth psychologists – are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as much as it affects our society as a whole.”

(See Robert Moore’s website page for this quote and also for an introduction to the excellent book by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, written to answer this question.

See also my review of Moore and Gillette’s book on today’s Unveiling webpage, Moore and Gillette; King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.

The question is a real one. In all of our mythic Heroic Quests, the young man is tutored by a sage, someone whom we’ll call a Hierophant – a “wise older man” who can guide the young man towards full adulthood. In his excellent book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman describes his teacher Socrates.

In the movie Star Wars, Luke Skywalker is tutored first by Obi-wan Kenobi, then by Yoda. In The Karate Kid (1984 version), Dan is tutored by a martial arts master, Mr. Miyagi.

What is consistent here? Young men are taught by martial arts masters. This is the classic initial stage of the Hero’s Journey.

Socrates, Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, and Mr. Miyagi – together with numerous similar characters in fiction and film – are idealizations. But the “real versions” exist!

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey, I credit two martial arts masters with whom it has been a great privilege to study. Robert Fusaro Sensei, 7th Dan, Founder of Midwest Karate Association, and Peter Ralston, founder of both the Cheng Hsin school and the martial arts discipline of that name, are masters who are substantial and very authentic. Further, diligent search of the martial arts schools and systems in most cities will reveal others who are competent teachers; not only of martial arts, but also of life.

Even those who prefer something other than martial arts can benefit by the pathway to becoming a “Superior Man,” as described by author Davide Deida.

Deida states “The two ways to bring you right to your masculine edge of power are austerity and challenge.” (The Way of the Superior Man, p. 191)

Women are aware of whether or not men are willing to do this. As we observe men, we note whether they are creatures of comfort, or if they are afraid to disrupt their own “status quo.” In essence, we note their courage – their willingness to accept both discomfort (“austerity”) and their willingness to step beyond their safety zone (“challenge”).

So for all men who are looking for a pathway: Seek out austerity and challenge, as Deida suggests. Give up the TV and the video games, and spend time in a real dojo; study with a martial arts master. Push yourself into the wilderness and into your own wildness. Then see how your woman responds to you. (Or if you are not in a relationship, then observe what sorts of women begin to be attracted to you.)

Are You a Ronin?

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Are You a Ronin? (Hint: So Was Obi-Wan Kenobi)

We identify the most with the outlaws and the underdogs – even those of us who seem to fit seamlessly with society.

Obi-Wan Kenobi – a Ronin?

Three quick questions to discern your own hidden Ronin:

Do you resonate – not so much with young Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars movie, but with his teacher, Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Do you find Aragorn – during his Strider phase – far more interesting than the Aragorn who later rules a peaceful Gondor?
Do you have a secret, passionate love affair with any or all of the characters in the short-lived Firefly series?

(For fun – and to get you into the spirit of things – reminisce with this YouTube clip – Luke Skywalker meets Obi-Wan Kenobi.

There’s something very important that we’re going to learn from this – a key that will unlock your understanding of archetypes, and of yourself. This will help you in your next move to power – in your mastery and life-integration.

If you’ve been reading with me for several months, by now you understand the basic premise. In this Unveiling blog, I’m evolving the ideas that I first propounded in Unveiling: The Inner Journey. By now, they are more well-defined.

We have four major adult life-stages that we undertake after our initial adult role (to have a job or place in society, and to raise a family or give to society) is complete. And unlike butterflies, other insects, and some fish, we have a life to live after we’ve created (or given energy to) the next generation. In fact, that’s when our adult life journeys typically begin.

The life-journey on which this blog has largely focused has dealt with discovering and integrating our core archetypes. We have eight core archetypes; six power archetypes, and two rest-and-recharge ones. Our second major adult journey – the one that has been our focus so far – has us discovering and accessing the unique capabilities of each of these six core power archetypes – and then learning to use them together – as needed, and at will. That’s our first major integration.

The last of these archetypes is – surprisingly – the one that we think might be the easiest, the most fun, and the most carefree: our inner Love Goddess. This is our inner Hathor; Egyptian goddess of love, sensuality, and pleasure in all its forms.

But before we make the connection – one that will have you pondering all through this coming holiday weekend – let me invite you to do a little background reading. Read D. Trull’s fascinating and insightful blog on The Jidai-Geki Knights: The Obi-Wan Connection. And if you have a chance, over this coming weekend, see if you can talk the family into a retro night and do a Star Wars marathon. (Or look at Star Wars and The Hidden Fortress, or The Seven Samurai.) It’s going to have your brain-neurons tingling – because in the next post, I’ll take this closer to you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Alianna/Alay’nya

P.S. Comment freely – this is the springboard for our next inner adventure!

Those Tower Moments: When Life Comes Apart (Again and Again)

Recap: Getting the Big Picture

Where the Tower Fits into the Big Picture

Things Come in Threes

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How I Got My Mojo Back

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Our Inner Hestia Gets Us Ready for the Magic of Spring

Archetype Management Isn’t Easy – Three Rules to Getting the Most from Your Archetypal Team

Rule #1: Keep It Simple

Rule #2: Deliberately Involve Your Supporting Archetypes to Help with the Major Ones

Rule #3: Use Desire More than Drive in Mobilizing towards What You Want

Hestia, the Goddess-Archetype of Hearth and Home, Keeps Life Glued Together

Our High Priestess Time Is for Introspection and Inspiration

Our Hestia Time Is for Getting Our Lives in Order

Making the Most of Your Hestia Time

More on Hestia

Hestia – This Rest and Recharge Core Archetype Is Not Really Resting!

I’M GOING TO BED…..Men vs Women

Hestia, Goddess of Hearth and Home, Maintains Order, Calm, Continuity

More on Hestia

Your High Priestess and Your Empress Archetypes – Are Both Their Needs Being Met?

Introducing Julie Marie Rahm, certified YUEN Mastery Practitioner and Instructor

Our Inner Empress – Feeling Good through Helping Others Feel Good

Our Empress Archetype Is All About Connecting and Nurturing.

Our Empress Archetype Causes Us to Bond with Animals

Our Empress Governs the Biggest Feast-Days and Holidays of the Year

Our Inner High Priestess – Intuitive and Contemplative

Instant Rejuvenation for Generation Empress – Guest Post from Julie Marie Rahm, aka The Resultant

Does Your Inner Empress Need to Recharge? (Ask Julie!)

A Healing Shift with My Emperor Archetype – from Controlling & Power-Grabbing to Wise & Benevolent

Before Healing – A Controlling Emperor Archetype

After Healing – A Wise and Benevolent Emperor Archetype

To Find the “Initiated Men of Power” – Seek Out the Martial Arts Masters

Are You a Ronin? (Hint: So Was Obi-Wan Kenobi)